Tonight is about Jesus embracing me (and you) through worship…our praise and worship.  This is a time of surrender that is sung with lyrics, prayed through our spirits, played with instruments and danced with our body. Do you have any idea just how personal worship is to Him?  I can tell you with all of me that He watches it closely, He walks among us, He inhales our offering, He touches our hearts and He knows when the worship breaks through the issues of life to final focus only on Him.  It is like I can almost feel His intake of breath at the shear love that fills His senses and spirit when our worship begins to flood Him as we truly worship with only thoughts of Him.

I have heard it taught that worship is a reflection of His value to me (and you).  I remember when my worship broke through my “What if someone sees my passion and what will they say?”  Jesus is the Lover of My Soul and He is magnificent, personal, jealous, passionate, protecting and intimate.

I remember growing up with so many secrets in my mind…burdened and bound and no one could even see all that inside of me.  I can remember wishing that someone could just read my mind and then I wouldn’t have to say anything.  Most people I have talked to don’t have that desire at all.  But I do.  Jesus knew that and faithfully met me at the place of my need.  You see, He reads my mind.  And I absolutely love it.  I hide nothing from Him and give Him access to all my thoughts.  He enjoys doing so!

No, my friend, I am not perfect!  Nor am I ashamed!  He lets me know if I need my heart or thoughts changed.  After all, they belong to Him.  His whispers are glorious and empowering.  And oh yes, I have learned how to whisper back.  In fact, for me, most of my prayers to Him are softly or gracefully spoken, with my lips, my heart, my mind, or my body.  Why would I scream in his ear?

If you haven’t witnessed my worship, I love to dance for and with the Lover of My Soul.  You see my hands move because to me…I touch Him.  That is what I do.  I dance to reach Him. Glory! He took my heart that struggled to find peace, beauty, passion and safety to love… after all life’s wounds and scars and ignited a fire and desire in me to touch Him…glory hallelujah!

Tonight I hope you receive from my story that Jesus is a personal God.  He will meet and enjoy you at the place where both of you communicate spirit to spirit.  He wants all that is on the inside of you.  He created you…and loves every inch of you!

That is what He did for me and I am not prideful.  I am grateful.  I am loved and pursued by Jesus.  Therefore, I eagerly lift my arms for His dance.   Nobody can dance like He can!

Through the years since my spirit has grown, He and I communicate in various ways.  Sometimes He woos me through scripture, other times He whispers in the quiet places, He also loves it when I share communion with Him, and then there are times when He lays His right hand on mine and I write…and write…and write stories, messages, or prayers.  He whispers in my mind and I can see Him…like the prisms in a kaleidoscope…with no limit.

Because of the times He and I communicate by writing I have kept a journal of all the words that He has given me personally.  In closing tonight, I share one of His letters to me with you.  Everyone’s journey with Him is unique – never forget that!

 _____________________________

 Patti,

 I love it that you hunger for My whisper…that My nearness and desires are what you want.  Yes, you heard Me right earlier – you already know that I will speak through you  – so just enjoy the journey as I reveal Myself to you.

 Tell me what I look like to you, smell like, feel like … how I make you feel…  Tell me Precious One what it is like to linger in the mind of your Creator.  What it feels like to have heaven touch, embrace and claim you… 

 Greater things than these I told you that you would do…and you will.  Oh yes, you will.  No limits so just let go and let Me.  I want to work My will through you…feel my glory rise as your body, soul and spirit surrender just because you love me.  Your obedience is a special aroma to me…that sweet scent of love that makes Me turn my head and watch you.

 So many times I linger with you just because you enjoy Me and don’t want anything but Me – that I am the desire of your heart.  So many times I brush against you as you think about Me.

 I love to receive from you Patti …and I will not delay.  Watch for me…I am always there.

 Jesus, Lover of Your Soul

 _______________________________

 My friends bless you and thank you for spending your time with me.  I pray that somewhere in my stories you saw something special about a relationship with Jesus that inspired you.  I hope with all my heart that you did.  My testimonies and teaching come with His seal of approval…and invitation to you.  I have been called to expose my relationship with Him to all of you for that very purpose.

He is beautiful.  He is powerful.  And He is exactly who you need.

Goodnight…with love.

Worship Dance

Patti Corbello Archer

June 10, 2011

Story 6 – final story of Up Close & Personal

Get out the camo!!!  Do you have a spiritual weapon’s locker?  I can certainly remember a time when I would have said, “What in the world do you mean?”  But today I know that I have one – a big one!  Come on…I will show you some of what is in my locker…my arsenal…and why.  I have collected powerful spiritual weapons throughout my years as a Christian…the trophies of victories past, the memories and wisdom learned in skirmishes that I lost, the maps and charts of strategies to protect my territories, as well as treasure maps of what I am believing for. If you don’t have a weapon’s locker ready and waiting for you, I bet you will think about it after my story.  Let the war talk begin…

The greatest warrior of all is Jesus and I love that He is coming back for me (and you) one day on His white horse.  One day the skies will roll back and He will be there in all His glory with a name written on His robe and on His thigh…King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  He will be vibrant with power and visual to all the inhabitants of the earth.  In fact, His Word says, “…before Him every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess.”  Glory!  I want to see His Kingdom come!!!  But until that day, our King has left us with His authority NOW to put on His armor and fight the good fight.

My personal memorized prayer from Ephesians 6 is stated as,“…stand strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, put on the belt of truth firmly buckled around your waist, put on the breastplate of righteousness.  Let your feet be fitted with the readiness of the gospel of peace.  Take up the shield of faith with which to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit which is the Word of God and pray in the spirit and on all occasions and for all the saints.”

Now with all that said how many of you realize that as Christians we are to be spiritual warriors – ready to grab weapons and go for the win?  I know it seems like a farfetched subject but war isn’t something you can do without preparation.  Don’t all soldiers and law enforcement train for battle strategies?  Don’t they keep their weapons loaded as well as know how to use their artillery in ALL situations?  Don’t they have strategies and plans for various types of war?  Don’t they know which areas around them need to be targeted and then, delay not if lives are at stake, including theirs!  A warrior must have armor and weapons.  But a warrior MUST know first and foremost how to use them!  I learned that personally.

Once I was filled with the Holy Ghost and realized the value of covering, many, many times I anointed myself and prayed on the armor of God with Ephesians 6, to verbally remind myself who I was as well as to proclaim to the spirit world that I was armed and ready.  THAT was certainly a learning process.  I can recall a particularly painful experience one day at work where I was reprimanded for a boss’ error.  I was angry that I was taken advantage of and had no authority to expose the false accusation.  I remember going home and calling out to God, asking Him what that was all about.  I stomped around in my apartment upset and offended about the experience and giving voice to my argument because I had been wearing the armor of God.  I will never forget the response God gave me immediately in my spirit.  To this day, it is as real as it was then.

I heard in my spirit, “Just because you put on the armor doesn’t mean you know how to use it.  You are holding the shield of faith…but standing there with it hanging down at your side is not effective defense. Unless you lift it up to shield the enemy’s arrows, the arrow will hit its mark in you because you aren’t prepared.  For most attacks the enemy will aim for your weak areas…so KEEP your shield in place to protect your areas.  A warrior never leaves a weak area exposed and unprotected.”

I have to tell you, His response took my breath away.  It truly never occurred to me that I had to do anything with the armor other than put it on and know what it was.  I had a lot to learn.  The Word of God is an application in our lives.  So again God confirmed that it is critical for me to “know my territory”.

With territory defined as:  What I must guard and protect in:

• my body, my soul and my spirit
• everything this is valuable (and any weaknesses) in my life
• everything that is valuable (and any weaknesses) in the lives of my loved ones (and all future generations)
• my purpose, calling, destiny
• and certainly God’s Kingdom here on the earth.

My “Territory” is my responsibility to wear and USE the Armor of God with access to my Weapon’s Locker as needed!

So once He planted all that deep in my soul I began to put my arsenal of weapons together based on my Christian journey so far.  In fact, from the wisdom and revelation that I learned from God about all of this I wrote a “Weapons & Strategy” bible study lesson – and taught it to the singles ministry.  The life chart that I created for use in the bible study – is a prayerful personal compilation for each person to fill in detail as they determine which life areas they believe need specific scripture covering applied to them – and then find the scriptures that reveals the Word of God on the matter. This creates for you a strategic spiritual battle plan.

The chart also provides areas for all victories.  Winning a battle over the enemy increases your authority, anointing, wisdom and discernment I have learned.  Don’t put your victories (trophies so-to-speak) on the shelf and forget about them.  USE what you have learned and adapt it as needed in other areas…or be prepared to use the SAME battle plan in case that issue arises again.  The enemy will try you again to see if you are still strong in any victory area I assure you.

Also in the chart is a listing of the names of Jesus where you indicate which aspect of His Glory He has revealed Himself as Lord to you as, i.e., Healer, Provider, Lover of Your soul, Creator, Redeemer…stake your claim on who He is to you!!!  NOTHING is more powerful!

Truly, a Christian’s life strategy is then in place with the Holy Spirit, spiritual chart, personal weapon’s locker.  They are then prepared for guarding their territory.  It doesn’t mean one will never get hit with the enemy’s arrow, nor does it mean one will win all the battles they face, but it does mean that one is being faithful over a few things so that God will make them ruler over much.  It will mean that they can do all things through Christ who gives them strength.  It will mean that wisdom comes to those who ask.

Finally I learned never to take the armor off…and no longer have to remind myself I am dressed in Him each day.  I have also learned that wisdom, obedience and discernment fit powerfully in my weapon’s locker – and make for more wins in battle.  He reveals Himself and His power in all of them.  My Warrior King has taught me so much…and still does!

To close out my sharing today, I would like to include a short story that I wrote based on Revelation 4:1 And there before me was a door standing open in heaven and the voice I had first heard speaking to me…said, “Come…”.

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 …as I stepped in, I opened my eyes and saw that I stood near a massive stone structure – with majestic columns and huge entryways.  I reached out and touched the face of the rock near me…curious and amazed.  Continuing on, I stepped through a towering door into a shimmering prism of light.  It appeared to stream from somewhere down a mighty hall.  The floor and the foundation seemed to be a solid rock that had a life of its own.  

 Before I knew it, I neared the room that contained the source of light and warmth began to radiate from deep within me outward…responding, answering, to a call I could only feel but not hear.  He was close!  Sweet Jesus, He must be close.  I began to tremble.  I reached out to grab the doorway nearest me and stepped fully into the beam of light.  For just a second I saw Glory turn and glance at me…then smile.  I fainted at His feet.

 Later, from somewhere deep in my mind, I heard a voice that I had heard before say, “Patti, do you truly love me more than these?”  My heart, then my lips, smiled as I said, “Yes Lord, you know I love you.”  I heard a soft chuckle; felt His fingers brush my face and I opened my eyes.  He said, “Blessings Precious One.  Welcome to my stable.”  I gasped and He laughed.

 As I watched Him enjoy the surprise on my face, He turned and whistled and the most glorious white stallion pranced right up to Jesus – tossing his head as he neared Him.  You could see that Glory had trained this animal.  The devotion in the stallion was pure.  His mission was sure.  He reared up on hind legs and the picture of loyalty and power was absolutely breathtaking.  Suddenly, from all around me came the sounds of millions of horses.  All up and down the hallway, doorway after doorway was filled with white horses calling out to Jesus – white manes flowing.  Jesus called out to them and then He stood.

 The King of Kings and Lord of Lords stood tall and purposeful before His stallion.  Peace in person is indescribable.  Jesus’ hair shimmered like starlight, His eyes flashed with  gold flames, and with power coming off of Him in waves,  He just stood for a moment and spoke not a word.  Looking down at His nail scarred hands He let me see that His heart was fixed on love and victory…and a wedding feast in the near future that He is most hungry for. 

 He walked to the side of the stallion and ran a hand down its muscular shoulder then purposefully He grabbed hold of the mane and swung Himself up and over onto its back.  My heart raced wildly at what was before my eyes.  The picture of Glory in that saddle made my heart near explode.  “Yes” my spirit, said, “Yes…make that ride Holy One…make that ride.”  But then, watching me, He whispered to my heart, “Mercy said no…for it is not my will that any should perish…so, a bit more time Precious One…a bit more time before I make that ride”.

 Jesus straightened and took a deep breath.  Spinning the stallion around I saw Him look long and hard at a blood-red royalty robe hanging just before Him in a huge crystal case dipped in gold and covered in jewels.  I saw Him inhale deeply and say, “Soon…”  Turning back towards me a long, slow smile spread across His face.  His eyes began to dance and all of a sudden He reached out a scarred hand and said, “How about a ride?  Come…come with me…”

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Never forget that no matter what your day holds, you are His warrior and He is your King.

Until tomorrow….

Weapons & Strategy

Patti Corbello Archer

June 9, 2011

Story 5 – Up Close & Personal

Do you know yourself?  Really?  Beyond all the generalities, genealogies and socializing…just how well do you know yourself?  Answers to THAT question my brothers and sisters in Christ is where I had to dive deep in me to know why I do what I do and find out why I feel what I feel in regard to many things – but mainly relationship scenarios in my life.  Let me go ahead and tell you right now…understanding these things is truly an “Exodus” journey!

Of all the areas that I could have shared on tonight, one of them has caused me more wounds than I care to remember.  But tonight, well tonight we shine the spotlight on REJECTION.  Surely you know what I mean.  Haven’t all of us at some point had a pain that washes over us on the heels of rejection?  I don’t know about you but rejection doesn’t make me want to cry on the outside.  It makes me want to cry on the inside.  Almost like I can close my eyes and see my heart weeping.  It is as if someone intentionally struck my heart and I absolutely hate the way that it makes me feel about others… but also about myself.

So go ahead and ask me.  What difference does self discovery make in lieu of all that? What monumental difference would knowing myself better make one way or the other?  Well, I am glad that you asked, smile. Tonight, I will explain it in two-fold simplicity for the sake of this story.  Give me a little teaching time to get the groundwork laid before I go into rejection in just a minute.

First, for me I can assure you that my life patterns will guide every step that I make until “I” make a change to go in a different direction.  And that holds true for any and all areas in my life (and yours) that hold the reins so-to-speak in guiding our lives – none are excluded, i.e., health, finances, anger, forgiveness, rearing children, addictions, fears, sexual behaviors, body perceptions, emotional wounds, attitude issues, God-surrender, etc.  Patterns are our learned or preferred automatic responses to life issues or thoughts.  Scary isn’t it that we can be led on “auto” huh?  Haven’t you ever driven down the road a piece and don’t even remember the journey?  Well, the same “auto” happens in thoughts and behaviors.

Secondly, for me, once I learned that many of these “auto” areas were causing scenarios in my life with painful responses, I began to realize that I needed God to help me WANT to change the wrong auto responses in my life.

Oh my gosh…I know all of us would rather someone else change and resolve our situation.  Right?  That is NOT going to happen for the most part.  Haven’t we all heard that the only person that we can change is ourselves?  Don’t you hate that?  I wanted to point my finger and show someone else was responsible…but I found out that it would have to be me.

This, my friend is where I will share about rejection tonight and my journey from the pit of suffering with it.  I remember many times throwing myself across my bed in tears, praying, crying out to God to do a “faster” work.  I would be mad at Him.  I would need Him.  It was quite a journey.  I always felt like it wasn’t my fault the way that I was…but yet, I found myself suffering the consequences nonetheless.  I wanted God to change me.  I wanted to be set free from rejection perceptions.  I pray this story will demonstrate that it CAN be done.  Everyone’s healing journey is different with God…here is mine…

Because of my childhood sexual abuse followed by two divorces I had developed extreme sensitivities and perceptions that triggered rejection easily.  I would be devastated when people’s behavior didn’t reveal the love and respect they spoke with their mouths.  Considering them lacking in character and integrity it also made me feel ashamed and angry…with me being angrier at myself because their behavior “told me” that they didn’t find me worthy of love or respect.  Inside my heart I was afraid that it wasn’t their fault but mine if I wasn’t lovable.  Inside my heart I felt that my physical looks were the qualifier to my value.  I am pretty sure that my “auto” cycle kept me trying to prove that I WAS worthy because I craved their love and respect…needing “approval” in a dependence fashion.  This approval need of mine was in many settings… socializing, in dating, in work, in ministry, or with family…it was an auto rejection cycle ready and waiting to torture me with thoughts and feelings of lack of self worth…and I had had enough!!!  I was totally sick of thinking about myself and getting hurt!  So, about 8 years ago I laid it on the altar…trusting Jesus.

I spent time with the Lord and He began to heal me and reveal many “auto” patterns that triggered rejection easily.  Once awareness of those triggers was awakened in me He began to give me discernment and strategy to plan ahead so that I could avoid those situations or mindsets and develop healthier relationship patterns.  Now did anyone say change was easy?  NO!  But to get out of the rejection pit I had to begin to change me!

So many times victims mentally/emotionally develop survival mindsets in order to endure abusive situations – and in me it turned into a protective self focus to monitor people around me like a safety radar constantly trying to keep my “love gauge”  within the worthy of love range.  In adult years it absolutely interfered with other relationships.  Therefore, I learned that as a survivor I must transform my thoughts to the Word…and let go of all the monitoring and measuring …and just learn to be free and trust God to lead me with wise decisions and God-relationships!

I think Jesus says it best in Isa 61, “… He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.  To proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God to comfort those who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion and bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes…”

There is a life beyond rejection, victimization, survival, divorce and wrong mindsets – and I am grateful!  I know you are too!  In closing tonight I would like to share an excerpt from another story I wrote some years ago during my healing journey.  I pray that you will enjoy the Jesus that He showed me.  The excerpt begins with a young woman seeking Jesus in the crowds as He ministers among his people…watch what He does with rejection in action.

 I can’t see Jesus but I know he is here.  At last I see the crowds surround a large home.  No one pays any attention to me so I go around and slip in the back door. 

 Inside the home I see the men reclining around the table – with the women and servants busy getting the meal together for them.  Suddenly, I see Jesus and he is magnificent.  Everyone is looking at him and listening to what he is saying.  I can tell that He is gentle and loving.  I walk up behind him feeling overwhelmed with humility.  His very essence calls to me to continue.  I close my eyes, listening to his voice as tears pour down my face.  I walk around in front of him and kneel at his feet…unable to even say a word.  My teardrops fall onto his feet…like rain.

 After a moment, I slowly reach out a fingertip and trace the path of my tears across his feet.  I never look up but I can feel his stillness.  I can feel his heartbeat as I touch him.  I can tell that He is waiting on me.  Needing to serve him, I remove the jar of perfume that I have hidden in my clothes and begin to pour it over his feet.  I hear his sigh.  His breath encourages me and I lean low and begin to wash his feet with my tears and perfume.  I kiss his feet and I love him.  Lost in the joy of serving him, I pick up the ends of my hair and use them to dry his feet. 

 Above the woman, Jesus lifts his gaze and looks into the hearts and minds of the men sitting around him judging harshly this woman serving and loving him.  His heart goes out to her.  His heart goes out to them.  Then he begins to teach them all of truth and love and of debts that no one can pay. 

 As he spoke, the woman listened and was amazed.  He was her champion.  He protected her.   Jesus, seeing her surrender, gave her His heart – and the Prince of Peace welcomed her home.

On the Heels of Rejection

Patti Corbello Archer

June 7, 2011

Page  4  – Up Close & Personal

I love teaching bible study!  Truly I do!  Many precious people in the classes that I have taught and facilitated during the years have enjoyed the journey with me.  I believe in hands-on visual aids, stories that emphasize the lesson, pictures or videos that drive the point deep and teaching with a passion for the subject…which brings me back to the subject at hand, Jesus.

I can assure you that my journey to becoming a bible study teacher has been in a one-on-one tutor session with the Lord.  He has worked me over good in preparing me to teach His children!  There have been many, many hours of study to memorize scripture.  This has been a God-send in my life personally, but watching it come alive in the faces around me in a bible study class is beautiful.  Having someone read something to you is one thing.  Having someone release it from the heart is another.

Years ago Jesus began to lead me off alone to memorize His Word.  I would go sit on my swing, or go lay at the beach, or curl up in the bed, or walk around the house repeating word after word, or walk around the sanctuary.  Without bragging…in all honesty the words would come so easy to me at those times.  The Words would leap off the page right into my heart.  I could feel His joy as He taught me to speak His words back to Him.  It would be like we were having a scripture conversation…so beautiful, so powerful, and so revealing.  I would begin to feel what His words said and not just know what His words meant.  It was like there was a secret down in His words that He was sharing with me.  I felt the value of what we were sharing…and communicating.

I guess through the years and His teaching me…my Rabboni, my Jesus, and my Master created a God-confidence in me about Him.  The confidence is not simply for knowledge sake but for relationship sake.  He likes what He has me teach others.  And I like Him…not just love and adore Him…but I like Him.  And I honestly know that He will reprimand me if I don’t teach what He wants taught.  You got that right.

In one of the Beth Moore bible studies that I was teaching, the lesson required all the ladies during their personal weekday homework time to get down on the floor on their face in humble heart and focus on Him before beginning their homework.  This particular week, I was behind because of church work responsibilities and still had much homework to accomplish before the group lesson in a couple of days.  I remember getting my Bible and workbook out and putting them on the kitchen table.  I opened the books when I suddenly remembered that I still “had to” get on my face before Him.  I got up – ever obedient – and knelt on the floor.  As I began to lay down on my face before Him, I clearly heard Him say in my spirit, “Don’t you even lay before me just because you have to.”  My heart cringed as I felt His indignation and His hurt.  I got up off the floor truly humbled and spent some time in meditation and worship remembering  just who I was about to lay before.  I shared it in the lesson just a couple of nights later.

There have been so, so, so many times where He has enveloped me in a classroom…teaching me to hear Him, understand Him, and not be afraid to love on Him as I recline against Him while He teaches.  If there is anything I have learned from His classroom, it is that He doesn’t want us to be afraid to love on Him.

Hebrews 4:16 says, “…let us come boldly to the throne of grace…”   When you love someone and you greet them, don’t you throw yourself in their arms, hug them, smile, greet and love on them?   Don’t you want someone to throw themselves in your arms, thrilled to see you, touching you, loving you?   There is nothing like enjoying the relationship that you have established with Him also!!!   He wants you to truly throw yourself at Him.  If you are His…His love is never closed to you.  Never.

A lot of people struggle with condemnation for not being perfect in a world that they can never be perfect in.  What a cycle of lies that keeps them from Him.  It isn’t about OUR perfection, it is about His!  Jesus never turned His back on anyone, ever.  Remember, Jesus is the one who had to become sin on the cross in our place.  He is the only one that will ever know the pain of God-rejection.

I am not perfect but nor do I have to be.  What I have to be is “His.”  He takes care of teaching us the rest, one day, one lesson, one mistake and one victory at a time.  I do not believe in rules that imprison the soul.  Instead I believe in rules that call the soul to its Creator where He teaches them.

Like the prodigal son’s father…He is always waiting, always loving, and always forgiving.  Run boldly to His throne of grace at all times.  Please.  He just wants you in His arms.  He will teach you more of His protective boundary in the days to come.

I want to share a brief story with you.  Years ago I was trying to explain to someone how I felt about opening up to trust anyone near my heart after years and years of emotional wounds.  I didn’t feel like they were getting the mental picture of what I was trying to say so, I asked them, “Have you ever seen a scrawny, diseased, starved, or beaten dog wandering hopelessly on the side of the road?  “Yes,” They said.  “Have you ever tried to call or get near them to help them but they shy away, growl, or even crumble into a cowering ball of fear?”  They said, “Of course, it is pitiful.”  I said, “THAT is my description. That was me spiritually.”  And I can assure you that picture shocked them.

Now I ask you tonight my friends, “What usually happens if you take one of those wounded creatures in, adopt them, take care of them, love them, teach them, and transform their environment?

They are forever serving their Master in His house.

My point exactly.

Heavenly Classroom

Patti Corbello Archer

June 5, 2011

Page 3 – Up Close & Personal

Truly our relationship with Jesus is UNIQUE and should be treated as an honored and holy opportunity to connect with Him.  And while many of us may share relationship similarities with our Lord God that we can all relate to, I deeply believe that some aspects of each person’s experience with Him comes through open doors of just-for-you intimate encounters.

In my heart I know that each of us is born with a multi-fold God-purpose. The Word of God tells us that He knows the plans that He has for us…so most of us hunger and seek the destined ministry or service assignments that He calls us to accomplish in our lifetime.  But like all love relationships there should certainly be another level…a private dominion that keeps His flame defining and intertwining with us over, and over, and over.

Have you ever heard the saying, “They threw the mold away after they made him…or her?”  I believe God creates an environment with each of us…privately…that no one else duplicates…our own personal “Mold” so-to-speak.  And we know that He loves variety – just look at the world and the people in it!  But as for me…I know that when He planted that defining concept in my heart it took a while for me to quit trying to be like everyone else and just let my uniqueness be what it was…to be free to be the me that He created me to be…body, soul, and spirit.

Years ago when I first began to work on His value concept for me, I wrote a story that reveals my doubt.  Because of all the painful places and poor decisions that I had lived through my “value” definition was shaky at best.  Here…let me share an excerpt from that story…

I open my eyes and the light is dim.  There is broken glass everywhere around me.  I try to pick up the pieces but I can’t.  I close my eyes and feel the despair.  I hang my head and moan … How can my Lord ever use a broken vessel?  I go sit huddled in the corner and I look at the pieces of my life all around me.  So much is ugly – the monsters that really were in the dark when I was a child, the panic when I couldn’t escape the touch, the fear that never left, the belief that I didn’t matter enough to be saved, the desperate decisions that ruled me later while I looked for a savior on the earth, the lies that I believed, the prison walls that I built and the weapons of my destruction which were placed strategically in my own hands.  Where is the beauty Lord?  People don’t want to hear this… they look at me and I am ashamed.  I don’t want them to see what is broken…I never wanted anyone to know that it hurt…I want them to see that I survived – the strength and endurance that it took.  I shivered there on the floor and grieved because the Lord could never use me to show anything as wonderful as Him.

Eventually, I lie down amidst the broken glass and found release in sleep.  What I didn’t know as I was in that room was that I wasn’t alone with brokenness all around me.  As I slept the sleep of the burdened and weary, a light projected into the room and Jesus walked across the glass and stood looking down at me.   He said over me, “Daughter, your brokenness is where I will be revealed.  One of the most beautiful things in the world is stained glass and it is made up of many broken pieces that the light shines through – you will be My glass and I will be your light – through you I will make beauty of everything painful that has touched you.  So… sleep daughter, sleep.  And when you awake, your journey to freedom will begin.  Don’t despair that you are alone for I will meet you there and I have personally orchestrated your freedom trail.”     (excerpt end)

And He did set my feet upon that freedom trail my friends – and what an adventure it was! One moment He was my Savior, then the next my Friend, an hour later He was my Healer…and on the way home my Provider.  There was never a need He ignored.  There was never a knock on His door unanswered.

I remember working at the law firm back then and on my break sometimes I would feel led to go to the file room just to speak in tongues and spend time with Him.  It was like a private internet line right to Him anytime I wanted to look His way…or call on His name.  He was never too busy and was always ready to reveal to me just how much it pleased Him when I missed Him.

I think I was just so grateful to learn that He did think I was all that to Him.  Jesus…the Mighty One…The One and Only…thought I was the bomb, lol.  Well, in His terms, “The apple of His eye.”  Glory hallelujah!  I grew up thinking that He didn’t want anything to do with me…that He thought I was worthless and disgusting – so once I cast down those lies and received His truth in my spirit…I just moved in and camped out at His feet.

Scripture from Song of Songs 5:1 in the Amplified version shares God’s thoughts to me the best, “Drink, yes, drink abundantly of love, o precious one, for now I know you are mine, irrevocably mine.”  When I RECEIVED this revelation, I could have cared less what the devil said.  As far as I was concerned the enemy could just eat dirt and die…for lack of a better way to say it.  NO ONE could take me from my God!!

I rarely think of the evil one.  Too many people waste too much time, energy, prayer and thought time on him.  To me, he is nothing and not worth my time.  I have the ear of the King of Kings, what is better than that?  For real.

So, as I sit here tonight at the feet of Jesus sharing with you, I want you to know that He is with you…sees you…loves you…and waits for you.  Never think that you know all that there is to know about Him.  Every day is a holy kaleidoscope.  I can just imagine His grin as He leans low to you and says, “Call on me precious one…just call.”

In fact, put Him on your Holy Ghost speed dial.   You’re on His.

Until tomorrow…

Kaleidoscope of Glory

Patti Corbello Archer

Page 2  –  Up Close & Personal

As I sit at my desk tonight I smile at the silence…sweet, sweet, silence.  No television blares with conversations and commercials that seek to invade my thoughts.  No radio sings tunes that long to coax or distract me to listen to the story that they want to tell.  No phone rings to alert me to messages, or texts, or calls. Nope. There is just silence…sweet, sweet, silence.

Now to a lot of people silence might be a scary or even a lonely place to be.  And in all honesty it can be those things.  I have been there…felt that.  Have you?  I found that to be the case when we have no peace in Christ.  Or, if we have hidden something in our heart that keeps us bound in secrets – where there can be condemnation, fear or shame.  But listen to me – silence was not created to be silent!  Truly!  In the beginning when God created the world His Spirit was gently hovering over the face of the deep.  It was a holy place where thoughts had the power to come alive.  It was a place where the thoughts of God spoke life into the silence and the world heard and was.  And the truth is that He still speaks!

I remember well when I received this epiphany…this revelation to hear Him in my spirit through worship, through meditation, through writing, through study and though listening.  Do you hear what I am saying?  The silence ISN’T silent!  And this, my friends is where I will begin Up Close & Personal tonight.  I will share with you what it has been like to embrace a relationship with the Holy One of Israel in ways that I never knew I could.

I am so excited!!!  He has been so many things to me…so many.  I know that many of you may have heard of the various names of God that get referenced in teaching, preaching or prayer.  Personally, I began to make a list of them as He revealed Himself to me one step at a time.  Or, should I say, one name at a time. It has truly been an intimate conversation between He and I.

In 2001, I began to learn how to access the Spirit of God…His Holy Spirit.  Now before then I knew the Word of God, I was baptized, I knew church, I knew rules for Godly-living, I knew service, I knew bible study, I knew fellowship with the body of Christ, I understood the call to prayer…and I knew Jesus as the “King and boss” of all the world.  I saw miracles in my life, I saw discernment rise up, I felt God’s creative call on my life and I truly yielded to the call to serve and know more and more about Him.  I ached for a pure and a holy spirit within me.  However, I knew that I still had a long, long way to go…especially when I left my second husband and got another divorce 10 years ago.

Looking back, I have learned that I have stuff.  You have stuff.  We all have stuff.  We will have stuff.  It isn’t about our stuff.  The power is in learning that it is simply and powerfully…about Him.  It isn’t like we can hide anything from Him anyway.  Like He doesn’t know?

As my hunger to know Him became greater than my fear of retribution for my failures, I began to seek Him in new ways…to KNOW Him.  Even if I stumbled as I learned, I got back up, trusted Him more and continued to open myself to Him entirely. My body, soul and spirit were His as I studied and learned to add vows, fasting, and sanctification for increased focus on Him.  As I surrendered my life to Him spiritually He revealed and opened Himself spiritually to me.

I began to learn that He enjoys that I come to Him just like I am because I lay it all on the altar.  Have you ever done that?  I mean, really?  I remember many nights pushing everything off my large coffee table and laying across it as a sacrifice – giving Him everything about me as I cried out to Him.  I didn’t keep anything from Him.  I asked Him to fix it.  I learned that the secret was to give it to Him…not keep it from Him!  Whatever IT might be.

The years of Word study and memorization that was on the inside of me began to rise up as the Spirit of God in me began to grow.  We are body, soul, and spirit.  All three need food to thrive and grow for their purpose.  Rabboni taught me that.  Rabboni is the Hebrew name for Master or Teacher.  Jesus is my Rabboni and teaches me.  Really He does!

Jesus is who He says He is…totally.  He is ALIVE and not just a story.  His heart beats.  His mind thinks.  His ears hear.  His lips smile.  His hands touch.  And He desires a spiritual relationship with me…and with you.

This first night of my sharing is so that you KNOW that.  My stories will mean nothing to you if you don’t grasp that.  Even when I read the word of God, I am looking for specifics and inflections of the way He thinks and feels.  I want His heart to beat close to mine.  I don’t just want a relationship with Him from afar that is only to gain from the works of His hands with blessings and miracles.  I want Him….Up Close & Personal….just as close as He will come.

I want my heart to hurt when He is rejected.  I want to feel His love when He receives our touch.  I want Him to share with me blessings or heartaches from His glorious life and being.  I want to have eyes to see and ears to hear Him.  If He whispers my name or has to raise His voice if I am stubborn….I want all of Him.

I see Him clearly in my spiritual eyes.  I feel Him deeply in my spiritual body.  He is ALIVE for me and in me.  I so want Him to be ALIVE for and in you.

If my stories will encourage or inspire you to BELIEVE that there is more of Him aching for you…then your relationship with Him is about to change.  None of us have seen anything yet.  Of that I am certain.

And the story continues…

Introduction to Up Close & Personal

Patti Corbello Archer

June 3, 2011

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