Daily Archives: May 9, 2011

Ride that roller coaster…


Does everyone love experiencing even the smallest carnival? You know, the Tilt-a-Whirl – the Ferris Wheel and the Roller Coaster?  How about the Zipper, the Gravity Twirl or even the Swings?  What about the House of Horror or the House of Mirrors?  And I know you can never forget the classic, the Carousel!  And then, once all that riding makes you hungry…you spend a fortune on cotton candy, candy apples, corn dogs, burgers, and shrimp on a stick.  After that don’t you usually stroll by the games of chance…intrigued…but dodging the scary carnival workers calling out to you?

When I was a kid going to the carnival was a magical experience – with all sorts of feelings thrown in.  Maybe even getting sick after a twirling ride lol?  Well, I think for fun I will just compare living Life After Divorce in some ways like a carnival. In our daily lives as singles, don’t we have ups and downs, spinning and flying, the exciting and the scary, the gentle and the rough, times of both risk and comfort, as well as the cost of forking out the money all by ourselves to pay for it all?  Sure we do!

I think at this point I guess I just want to encourage you to throw out your arms and experience YOUR life after divorce – just like riding a roller coaster…with all your emotions and feelings harnessed to not interfere with your determination to go the distance. Some rides will be good and some will be…not so good.  But it is YOUR life my single brothers and sisters and I promise you, God has special plans for you through the whole journey.  Don’t miss the good because of your past.  Don’t miss the good because of the high costs you’ve paid.  Don’t miss the good because you are lonely.  Don’t miss the good by being blinded by what you lost.  Don’t miss the good because you are too busy working hard to be who you USED TO BE.  Get on a new ride and take the good in each day NOW.  Please my friend, GO FOR IT!!!

Glory Hallelujah!  It excites me!  I could just do a cheerleader jump for joy!  Well…sorry, IF I could still do a cheerleader jump I would lol.  But for real, I am excited!  Believing in powerful Christ centered MISSION, PURPOSE and DESTINY for each of us; I know we can find our encouragement. Do you want to know if I have received all my dreams?  Nope, I haven’t.  Have I embraced all my heart’s desires? Nope.  Have I experienced all that I planned by this age in my life?  Nope…again.  Well, you know what I say?  I say, “So what!”  I am 52 years old and I am NOT through living, experiencing, embracing or believing.  I am NOT wasting my days waiting for the rest to come!  I will NOT go to the carnival and just stand there watching life pass me by!

Oops, well, there are a couple of things I guess I will miss out on as the years keep ticking by.  Okay…can I get personal?  LOL…remember in my first story that I shared about wanting to drive and cruise cross country on a Harley…free and exploring with my long hair, red lipstick and big loop earrings?  I know that probably surprised MANY of you.  Remember the Knight Warrior that I believe to come and sweep me off my feet and gallop off with me on his horse?  Woo hoo, what a man! Well, there is one other itty bitty little detail that my Christian friends, after their shock, used to get such a kick out of….I want my man to have long hair and an earring!  Stop laughing!  For real I did!  Man, oh man, that was just flat out romantic to me lol.  I am a Christian gypsy at heart – I know it – I have to be!  But hey, I am a good sport!  Maybe he can break out the wig during a candle light supper!  Sorry…just picking!  I probably have enough hair for both of us!

The other thing was…I love to dress up too.  I love to wear all sorts of sparkly clothes, jewels and high heeled boots!  For real, I remember telling my Aunt that I sure was hoping MY MAN didn’t wait to come till I was on a walker…I want to be romanced in my boots!  You know, whatever makes you feel spunky lol.  Tennis shoes just don’t make me feel romantic…but if my Soul Mate doesn’t hurry, it may be Dr. Scholls!  Just kiddin…sort of!

Soooooo wow, now that I have shared all my secrets, can I just jump right on in the next issue at hand?  Do you want to know what my thoughts are right now?  RELATIONSHIPS. Yep, that’s it.  As a single I figured that was a pretty important issue to study, learn and plan for.  I have learned a lot on the back side of my two marriages and with dating – namely, that a committed relationship must have one real indicator of love that speaks truth to ME.

People say the word LOVE really easy and I have been through some really painful relationships.  With Godly-wisdom I pray that I have finally located the key factor to me for my future marriage relationship.  Do they want what’s best for me?  That is the simple question and filter with prayer that will determine that love commitment for me.

People say a lot of things that sound good.  Important people in your life say a lot of things that seem good.   But what MUST BE in my healthy relationship is that their life will reveal that they want what’s best for me.  That’s their job, to want what’s best for me MORE than what’s best for them.  I don’t want imitation love that focuses only to meet their needs.  And with all my heart, I want my life to mirror exactly the same for them….that I want what’s best for them.  Therefore, neither heart is focused on itself.  I will be watching for those truths because a God-covenant must be stepped into with truth and without deception.  And that’s that.

As for me today as a single living Life After Divorce….

I am happy…truly.  I have peace in my heart and in my home.  That is priceless to me.  Jesus is not distant to me nor a fairy tale.  He is my King of Kings and I am surrendered to Him.  Therein is my peace and I will guard it always.

Just recently I began a new career on a law enforcement team as an officer supporting and equipping officers to serve and protect each of you.  That is worthy and honorable.  I praise God for using the gifts that He has given me to cover the government that He has put in place.

My time off is impressive and I am grateful to continue to love and be used to bless my family and friends.  Loving them is the desire of my heart.  I want to do what is best for them also!

As for writing, my God-gift of writing and telling stories….inspirational stories…to touch, inspire and encourage you will continue to go forth.  My terrific work schedule will provide the time off.  Jesus will provide the stories and the way!  I pray to publish a teaching devotional within a year.  And more after that…

And hmmmmm….romance…well, there isn’t so much happening in that area right now.  But no matter, for the first time in my life, I know that I am truly “complete” and ready to be God’s best for someone.  If they tarry, well, they might not find me in high heel boots lol.

So there it is. My divorce story is shared.  The truth is that Life After Divorce has all the opportunities in the world to be as good as you are open for it to be.  Open my friends, we must open wide!  Ride that roller coaster with hands held high, brave and adventurous – for we truly haven’t seen anything yet!

Thank you for sharing this story with me.

My next personal blog will be in June…be blessed!

Life After Divorce – Final Page

Patti Corbello Archer